Thoughts on Baby Shower

Aaaaaaand there's the Office I know and love! Extra awesome episode! I mean, anytime you have a cold open that involves Dwight birthing a butter-covered watermelon onto Michael's floor, you know genius is upon you. I laughed, I cried, I threw up a little in my mouth (I can't believe he ate the watermelon!!!).

Michael/Holly/EvilFuckingC*ntJan - Oh my. So much going on here. The tension between Michael and Holly. The tension between Michael and Jan. The fact that Michael felt nothing when holding Ass-Turd (lol!). The fact that Jan fucking had Ass-Turd without Michael being there (I cannot believe the nerve of that bitch!!!!), yet she still wants to rely on him for help ("Remind me to talk to you about Astrid's 529"). I could write a novel, but I'll keep it short.

Michael matured in this episode. You could see it. Michael just wants someone to love, who will love him back. He didn't get it with Jan. He didn't feel it with Ass-Turd. But then there's Holly. Wonderful, sensitive, perfect-for-him Holly. When Michael hugged her and asked her out, I think at that moment all of Jim's advice about taking it slow, getting to know her, blah blah blah went right out the window because Michael didn't care anymore. He likes Holly and wants to be with her. Period. He's no longer content with waiting to be happy. Also, I think he is sick and f-ing tired of Jan telling him what to do all the time. "Don't date Holly". Really? Well fuck you, bitch. Fuck you.

When he held Ass-Turd and said he felt "short-changed", I don't think he just meant short-changed for missing the birth. I think he meant short-changed by life; for never being able to achieve his dream of being married and having babies. He wants the ketchup fights, dammit! He thought being involved in Jan's baby's life would finally be his ticket to happiness. But since it's not his baby and Jan gave birth without him there, clearly someone ripped up that ticket. Jan is a thief of joy.

By the way, can I just say this? Amy Ryan is a treasure. She is an amazing actress and the best thing to happen to The Office since the arrival of The Nard Puppy (lol!). Producers, I hope you are listening. I am one of thousands of voices who feels Amy/Holly needs to stick around permanently. Make. It. Happen.

Jim and Pam - *sigh* Long-distances romances. They are not easy. When I first dated my husband, we were apart for the first couple of years and only saw one another on weekends. It was hard (TWSS) and there were many days like the one Jim and Pam had. Missed phone calls, one too busy to talk to the other, a feeling of disconnect between us. You're each living these alternative lives that have nothing to do with one another, yet you are each the single most important person in each other's lives. Those two concepts don't work together.

So, where is this going? Are we headed for JAM Tensionville? Is one of them going to make some grand gesture of dropping everything and running to be with the other person (like Pam dropping out of school, or Jim asking for a transfer to NY?). This whole 3 months in NY thing has to be ending soon, right? Why can't Pam just come back to Scranton and sit behind her reception desk, so all can be right with the world? Is that too much to ask? I just want to see Pam and Jim in the conference room, watching videotapes of bands for their wedding, ya know? Enough with the angst already. I'm all for character development, but not at the expense of fucking with one of the best relationships in the history of television.

Oh and PS - Fancy New Beesly is wearing lipstick!!

Favorite moments/quotes
* "We gave you a golden shower".
* Ass-turd...oh and Chevy!
* "...and her little grape head is under mine"
* The Nard Puppy (I really hope they put that collage of baby pics online)
* "She is in the terminal stages of her pregnancy" and "...to pay respect to her bloated feelings"
* Michael holding the various babies...awww!
* Dwight with the stroller
* "It must be like the tide at Omaha Beach."
* The fact that Meredith drank from a baby bottle the entire shower
* The babydaddy conversation
* "She smells like old tomatoes and dirt"
* The Michael/Holly hug
* The Jim/Pam message montage (very well edited, I might add)
* And my favorite: The entire cold open. I still can't believe he ate the watermelon. I can't believe Dwight drank the water. I can't believe I got to hear Dwight Schrute say "My cervix is ripening".