Thoughts on Weight Loss

Amen and hallelujah! Season 5 has returned with a bang...or is that a bang boom?

Is it me or was this episode totally rushed and sort of "forced"? It's like they jammed as much material as the could possibly fit and tied up as many loose ends as they possibly could within their tiny 40-ish minute window. My brain was bouncing all over the place from start to Costa Rican finish. I tried taking notes during the episode; stuff I wanted to talk about on the blog, but I gave up after about 15 minutes because it was Just. Too. Hard. (TWSS!!).

Overall it did not feel like a real episode of The Office to me. It felt like a weird one-off episode, much like I think the upcoming "24" prequel is going to feel. Not quite a season 4 episode, but not quite fitting into season 5 either.

Ok, onto our featured players...

Andy/Angela/Dwight: I've said it before and I'll say it again...who's the office mattress now?! I wonder if that crucifix she wears has actually burned a scar onto her chest yet, because LORD knows she is committing some rather unholy devilish acts in that little storage room. My, my, my. This whole "thing" she has going on with Dwight is going to blow up in her prissy little face in a BIG WAY. I still stand by my prediction that Andy & Angela are going to make it to - or get close to - their wedding day before somehow the Dwangela booty calls (or is that booty pages?) are discovered. Wanna place bets on the possibility of Dwight & Angela going at it in the church rectory while she's in her wedding gown??!! Huh? Huh?

Michael/Holly/Jan - Or rather Michael/Holly/The One With The Feet (lol!!). Not since Jim & Pam has there been a more perfect match than Michael and Holly. Like peas and carrots (nice healthy weight management food). SPOILER ALERT: It's a shame Amy Ryan's contract was only for 6 episodes. It doesn't necessarily mean she won't EVER come back, but I think the odds are pretty slim right now. Which means he'll end up with evil Jan and her devil spawn donor (NOT!! You took me by the haaaand, maaade me a maaan, that one night...) baby. Blech! Jan is blech!

Kelly/Darryl/Ryan - Well, well, well, look what the New York State penal system (TWSS!) dragged in. Mr. Ryan Bailey Howard, all goateed up and ready to work...as the temp!!! Fire-d guy indeed. To coin a phrase from one Stewie Griffin, his uppance has come. And his first order of business, aside from the lamest, most insincere pile of bullshit apology to Jim, is to try making a play for Kelly again??!! What??!! Oh so now that we're back in Scranton suddenly Kelly is wonderful and..."perfect" was it? Such a player. Such a little douchebag player. And how amazing was it to watch Kelly be all "Oh that's so sweet Ryan, but I'm dating Darryl still and we're crazy in love". Ohhhh yeah! However, if I may make another prediction? She and Ryan will be back together by Christmas. Guaranteed. That is not a spoiler, that is just common sense. She can't stay away.

Jim and Pam - Ok, well, there's one prediction right out the window. An engagement in the first goddamn episode?! Wow. Did not see that coming...which I think was exactly the point. I think the writers did that on purpose to throw all the viewers off.

But although I am THRILLED they are engaged - and the engagement was cute and romantic and perfect for Jim & Pam - I am now officially very worried. Why? Because that leaves the entire rest of the season open for shit to go wrong. And you know it will. There can't ever be a couple on TV who just falls in love and gets married like everyone else. Oh no! There have to be angst and frustrations and obstacles. Pam isn't even finished with her semester at Pratt yet, and she's really enjoying her time there. So what happens when the semester ends and she...oh, I don't know...wants to stay longer? Or wants to stay in New York in general because she likes the city? And what about these friends she's making? Maybe I've seen one too many episodes of "Three's Company", where Mr. Firley walked in on Jack kissing a girl and misunderstandings ran rampant. But couldn't you see something like that? Couldn't you see Jim driving up to Pratt to surprise Pam one weekend, only to catch her giggling and flirting with that "My ex-girlfriend is behind me" guy? Not that she would be interested in him, but maybe Jim would see it differently and start to have doubts. After all, she called off her wedding to Roy, so...

Believe me, this is NOT how I want the scenario to play out. But to me the early engagement just opens the door to so many icky bad things happening. Of course it also opens the door to a Christmas wedding. Maybe I should stop being so glass-is-half-empty. Ya think?

Favorite moments/quotes (I have so many, because really I think the one-liners made this episode funny):
* "What up 2-1-2?" (How cute was she?!)
* "Who's the girl in Michael's office with the feet?"
* Angela's "That's how I sleep at night" speech.
* "Dangerous. Tacky. Sharks. Haunted."
* "What is up, girl in the computer?". And then Girl in the Computer being carted around the office to say hi, meet Ronnie, and find paper clips. And Girl in the Computer's talking head.
* "Beer me five" (Awesome!!!!!!)
* Michael saying Jim was going on a booty call and then giving him a condom. Yikes!
* Speaking of booty calls, Angela's repeated pages to Dwight
* Creed dividing up the rice grains like cocaine.
* "Give me Ryan Howard. Give 'em to me. I want him. I need him." and then the dueling goatees.
* Pam's "summer project"
* "Andy Bernard does not lose contests, he wins them. Or he quits them because they are unfair"
* The fruit in the vending machine...and the flies...and Dwight's, um, "solution" to the problem
* The names of the guys from Here Comes Treble (Broccoli Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunchbox, Sandwich, and my favorite Pubey Lewis and the News - LOL!!!!!!!)
* And of course the proposal, every single wonderful, wet, drippy, gasoline-smelling moment of it. It's about damn time!!!!!

Season 5 Predictions

Well, well, well. We made it through the summer. Fall has arrived. And finally - FINALLY - the return of The Office is upon us.

Since Season 4 ended, I have managed to bring two more people over to the dark side that is The Office Obsession - my stepdaughter and her boyfriend. While I feel few people could ever reach my freakish level of fandom (read my last post - 25 mother-lovin' Office items purchased, AND I spent some of my lovely Sunday cruise checking OfficeTally.com on my Blackberry for any news on the premiere, AND I sat on the edge of my couch with my eyes closed and fingers crossed [literally] during the Office-related parts of the Emmy awards), my SD and her man are getting close. We're having a family viewing party tonight and then I'm going to twist their arms into playing the Office board game.

So, with the premiere about to air, I thought I would throw out some predictions for the new season. If I know any spoilers (which I'll admit I know just a few minor ones) I will own up to them. Here goes:

Jim & Pam - Obviously they will be dealing with the separation brought on by Pam's art school internship. I think it will start out difficult but tolerable, then grow increasingly stressful as the separation goes on. I think Jim will have a very hard time adjusting to Fancy New Beesley's other life, with new friends and new experiences that do not involve him. And I believe Pam will have a difficult time returning to Dunder-Mifflin...if she returns at all?? But the big question - will they get engaged? I say yes, but not until either the Christmas episode or the season finale.

Dwight/Angela/Andy - I think the real office mattress, Ms. Angela, has a tough decision to make. I do know (spoiler alert) that she and Andy are going to go ahead with making their wedding plans. Whether or not the actual wedding takes place I do not know, although I believe it won't. I see Dwight pulling a Benjamin Braddock maneuver, a-la "The Graduate", and stopping the wedding just before the I-do's. In the meantime, will Angela keep hooking up with Dwight? I say yes.

Michael/Jan/Holly - Michael has wanted to be a daddy his whole life. Now he may (sort of) have his chance with Jan's sperm donor (oh puhleeze!!) baby. So I think he's going to dip his toe back into Jan's water, so to speak. But then there's Holly - clearly the peanut butter to Michael's jelly. They could not be more perfect for each other. Holly seems to have the hots for Michael and he is also interested. I think Michael will be torn between his growing affections for Holly and the baby that's growing inside Jan. Who will he choose? I say Jan. Reluctantly.

Ryan/Kelly/Darryl - I think there is trouble in paradise for Kelly & Darryl. I think Kelly is going to feel sorry for Ryan and all he's going through. Sure she put on the tough girl oh ha ha act when he was first arrested, but I have a feeling that will all change. I won't say more than that because I do have some inside info on what's happening specifically with Ryan.

So there you have it. Marked 9/25/08 at 10:15 a.m. Central time. We'll see if my Office ESP is properly in tune.

Target $1 Goodies are Back

After two failed trips to my local Target, I finally hit the jackpot at a Target in the next town over. And yes, I will happily admit that I spent over $25...on stuff from a $1 bin. Do the math, people! They don't call it an obsession for nothing, ok?

Some of the goodies:

While I love the pens, pencils, notepads and the like, I think my favorite item is the large "That's What She Said" sign. Right now it's hanging on the side of my refrigerator. However, I am seriously considering mounting a stick to it (TWSS) and using it as an actual sign. TWSS jokes are uttered in my house on a pretty regular basis now. It sure would save time if I could just hold up a sign, instead of going through the laborious task of actually saying "That's what she said" ;) I keed! I keed! I'm not that lazy.

Oh! And I also received the Office trivia board game as an anniversary gift from my darling husband. Love it!! Soooo much better than the DVD game. I am particularly fond of the Support the Rabid bracelet included with the game. Even though it is a game piece, I am not ashamed to say that I will be wearing it Thursday, in honor of the Season 5 premiere.

My first Office disappointment

I can't even believe I typed that. NOTHING about The Office is disappointing, right? RIGHT?!

Well one thing is...the DVD board game. Yikes.

Ok, don't get me wrong. There are elements of the game I liked. I liked winning Schrute Bucks, I liked that ALL of the major characters (minus the Nard-Dog and Evil Karen) were available as board marker pieces, and I liked that the questions ranged from easy to fan-obsessed hard. Oh and I enjoyed the fact that my whole family was able to sit around the TV and enjoy an activity together.

But thaaaaat's where my likes end.

Let's start with the DVD. The "How to Play" instruction section? Wow. It would have droned on forever no matter who was narrating, but the fact that it was Toby?! Hand. Me. A. Gun. It lasted FAR too long and, quite frankly, confused us all even more. Particularly the section about wagering Schrute Bucks. If we win, do we win everyone's wagered SB's? Do we only win back our own SB's? And if so, what's the point of wagering in the first place?

Now we move on to the game activities. The trivia questions I had no problem with (although one of them was WRONG!!!). But dude - lose the "clerical challenges". I suspect anyone who owns this game skips over these challenges, just like we did. We just automatically awarded SB's to whomever landed on that space. We're not gonna draw the Dunder Mifflin logo, or address an envelope to DM's corporate office. It's just not practical.

Let's be honest: Anyone who has purchased and/or is playing this game is doing so for one reason - bragging rights! We want to prove our Office knowledge is better than your Office knowledge. We want our friends & family to be amazed when we pull the make & model of Anglea's car out of our asses because we're that obsessed with this show. We do NOT want to draw, write, rearrange words, or count the number of O's in a line of dialogue.

Oh and how 'bout this, Office DVD creators? Remember that little thing called "Season 4"? Why does the board game go all the way up to Season 4, but your DVD game ends at "Theeeen it's a date"?

In the words of Mr. Kevin Malone, two thumbs down.

Season 4 DVD

Oh beautiful, sweet Season 4 DVD - how I love you so!!

There were many deluxe/collectors packages to choose from at various stores. I chose the Target exclusive deluxe package, which included the following:

• 4-discs for the show
• An extra disc with the cast Q&A from the Office convention in Scranton
• A mini copy of the original script for "Dinner Party"
• The most amazing little post-it note book thingy (it's basically the size of a large post-it pad, it's hard covered, and it contains TWO different Office post-it notepads and 5 or 6 stacks of plain little post-it flags)

For various reasons (stepson very sick , husband inexplicably breaking out in hives), I was not able to watch as much of the DVD as I would have liked. But you're damn skippy I watched the blooper reel!! Funniest. Thing. Ever. Seriously, that alone was worth the price of the DVD. Anyone who doesn't laugh until they cry at the very last blooper needs their head examined.

I also watched a few of the deleted scenes. There is a deleted scene from "Fun Run" between Jim & Pam that is so sweet and lovely, I am VERY disappointed it wasn't left in the original show. Instead we got to see Michael vomiting alfredo sauce. Uhh...yeah.

The "Dinner Party" script is pretty cool too. It is the original script before any rewrites or ad-libs were done. So there are several lines/scenes that did not make it into the finished product, including a prank phone call to Toby . Also, the peanut-butter-on-the-head cold open was originally slated for this episode.

Oh and the "Rabies: The More You Know" PSA thing from Steve Carell - hysterical!
"Rabies. Blech." LOL!!!

We're expecting lots of rain here for the next few days, but I will be happily curled up on my couch further feeding my obsession.

Spoiler Alert!! - Part 2

More spoilers from Officetally, written in white below. Highlight with your mouse:

* Holly Flax will be in the season premiere. I'm VERY happy to hear this. I really like her character and the actress as well. I think there is a plethora of potential for her character:
a) Tons of possibilities with the Holly/Michael/Jan triangle
b) Make it a quadrangle with Kevin thrown in, because he's "totally gonna bang Holly"
c) I could see either Andy or Dwight making a play for Holly when one of them is inevitably
dumped/shunned by Angela.
d) ...and then there's Creed, from Quabidy Ashuance

* At some point in the season, Michael is going to make the office throw a baby shower for Jan. Train. Wreck.

Season 5 - Spoiler Alert!!

Thanks to the good folks at officetally.com, we have a few really good spoilers for the Season 5 Premiere. They are written below in white. Highlight with your mouse:

1) It will be an hour long

2) It will take place over the summer. So for the first time we will see what happens during the summer months, isntead of that jump in time.

3) Each "act" (the time between commercials) will represent another week of the summer.

4) The office workers will be participating in some kind of weight loss challenge, the progress of which we will see over those 8 weeks.

Naturally, that's all they would reveal.

I was already pretty excited...now I'm jumping out of my skin. And it's only July.

General Office-ness...or Not

Just some general bits of Office-related stuff floating around in the ol' noggin:

* I love me some Jenna Fischer. I've been watching her appearances on Letterman, Craig Ferguson, and even heard audio of her visit to NPR's Fresh Air w/Terry Gross. Jenna is so unbelievably down to earth. Seriously. She's a midwestern girl (like me) and it shows! Very personable, genuine, not an ounce of "diva" in her. She still goes to craft shows with her mom, people! Now that's keepin' it real.

* Steve Carell, I love you too, but dude can you please tone down the fake sarcastic shtick when you're being interviewed? It's getting old. He does this thing where someone will ask him a question like "What's it like working with Anne Hathaway" and he'll answer sarcastically "Oh she's awful. Terrible actress. So demanding." (I'm paraphrasing). Or someone will tell him how wonderful & funny he is and he'll respond "Yes I am. I'm incredibly funny. I don't know how I live with myself". Once or twice is ok, but every interview?! It's annoying. Time to try something new.

* I'm replacing my obsession with The Office temporarily with an obsession for Jon & Kate Plus 8. If you've never seen it, go now directly to your local television and tune to TLC. It's probably on right now because - man alive - does that show re-run!! I promise you won't be disappointed. Basic summary: Jon & Kate had twins 7 or 8 years ago via fertility treatments. When the twins were 3 or 4, they went back for more fertility treatments to try for one more baby and ended up with sextuplets!!! Their house is chaotic. Their children are screamers & fighters, but still friggin' adorable (except for that brat Mady...I'm sorry but she needs serious behavioral help). Little Aaden is my favorite. And I'm starting to develop a small crush on Jon :). Anyway, watch it.

* Season 4 DVD's come out in early September. I've seen the cover art. Not impressed at all. But I'm hearing rumors of a 40-minute blooper reel. If that's true, they can put dissected pigs on the cover for all I care. Forty minutes of bloopers??!! Dude!

* A thought has been nagging me ever since the season ended. I feel like the Jim/Pam relationship was rushed. I know he's been in love with her forever, and she's secretly loved him forever, and their dating courtship actually lasted about a year in "Office time". Nevertheless I really wish the writers had sloooooowed things down a bit. At the very least save the engagement talk for Season 5. That damn writer's strike fucked everything up!

Random idea about the spinoff

This goofy thought popped into my head over the weekend. I'm probably totally off base, but at the same time wouldn't it be kind of cool? What if the spin off were centered around the documentary filmmakers??!! The ones filming this unseen/unmentioned documentary about life in a Northeast regional paper supply company. Maybe we would see the cameramen discussing their thoughts about the various people in the office, or the latest social faux pas committed by Michael, or what they caught Phyllis & Bob Vance doing in the warehouse.

Huh? Huh? It could work, couldn't it?

Thoughts on Goodbye, Toby

Well. That was one crazy episode. I needed some quiet meditation time on that one. Like in yoga...or is that Yoda?

Jim/Pam: Despite my prediction of no engagement, I was still frickin' disappointed. I really wanted to be wrong. That look on Jim's face when he said "I am going to propose tonight. Holy crap!"? Priceless. Amazing. And then when he kissed her on top of the head? And that "Hey" right before he almost proposed? Oh my God!! I tried to figure out how I could actually climb into the TV screen and become Pam. I mean...just...seriously, how could any sane heterosexual woman not love Jim Halpert at that moment? But alas, the proposal didn't happen (Dammit, Andy!).

So that leaves us with this design school thing. Folks, I'm worried. Everything's going great for Jim & Pam. It's all love and hearts and all the wonderfulness we've always wanted. He's got the ring and he's gonna propose, but the plot is foiled (Dammit Andy!). So what are we left with for the summer hiatus? A non proposal (Dammit Andy!), a disappointed Pam, a 3-month separation, and Pam seeing this whole new life, in this whole new atmosphere, with a whole new group of people. I. Smell. Trouble. Yep, hate to say it, but I think when they come back in September, we'll see that the time apart, the missing proposal (Dammit Andy!) and the changes in their lives have caused some major tension in their relationship...

...or they'll be fine because Jim was offered Ryan's job at corporate and followed Pam to New York.

Holly: I really, really, really like her. A LOT!! She's sweet, warm, intelligent, and is the first person to not only tolerate Michael's "quirks", but also balance him out and bring him back down to Earth with the rest of us normal human adults. She likes him for who he is and she's not trying to control/change him like Jan did. She and Michael have the potential to form a genuine deep connection. It could be "the thing" I've been hoping would knock Michael down a few pegs. She also seems like she will make an excellent H/R rep - the perfect balance of professionalism and compassion.

Michael/Jan: That bitch!! I'm sorry, but screw her! Seriously. A sperm bank? Because Michael's DNA isn't good enough for you? You pompous psychotic loser! Get over yourself.

Whew. Now that I got that out of my system...

I know what Michael is doing, but...what is Michael DOING? Obviously he sees this as his one and only last chance to be a father, but c'mon! Wouldn't he rather not be a father at all than "sort of a daddy" to someone else's baby? And you know that won't last for long. Jan will use Michael for whatever she needs from him at the beginning - a lamaze coach, help when the baby is first born, maybe some babysitting - then kick him to the curb when his purpose has been served...leaving him absolutely heartbroken. Ick, ick, ick. Just all sorts of bad.

Andy/Angela/Dwight: Well, first of all...um...who's the office mattress?? Excuse me, Ms. Martin. She who is without sin may cast the first stone...or condom.

Whew. Now that I got that out of my system...

I feel like Andy sees dating & marrying Angela as just another thing he's "supposed" to do in life, you know? Remember his first day in Scranton, when he told the camera his grand plan for advancement in the company with "name repetition and personality mirroring"? He's all about advancing his status in life. He's been carrying around an engagement ring in his wallet for six years waiting for the right moment. Who does that? Someone who is just gonna pop the question to the first person who fits into his "plan", that's who. When Angela dumps him (which she eventually will) I think he'll be more upset that his plan was thrown off course than broken-hearted over losing Angela.

As for the Bible-thumping slut and her extra curricular activities... Well, as I said before, I think more happened last week after the cameras stopped rolling. I don't believe they just happened to start rubbing uglies for the first time that night. I suppose we can conclude that they talked, then kissed, then re-consumated their relationship all over the foam peanuts in the warehouse. And then...? Angela said let's keep it a secret? Angela said it was a one-time thing? WHAT?!

So how's this one going to play out? Will Angela plan the wedding right up to the end and then pull a Pam and call it off? Will she dump Andy over the summer and openly date Dwight? Will Phyllis hold this juicy piece of info over Anglea's head and blackmail the hell out of her? Should be interesting.

Ryan "He used to be the temp here...and now he's inmate #11275" Howard: Yeah!! Have fun behind bars, you weasel! You're a pretty boy, so you'll be somebody's bitch within the first 5 minutes. You'll be da bell of da ball. Good luck with that.

Whew. Now that I got that out of my system...

I wasn't expecting him to get arrested. I thought he'd just get fired, so that was a fun bonus. I'd love to know who posted the video on YouTube and sent it to Jim. That was the best part! And I loved how Creed kept referring to him as "The temp" and "The kid". Awesome!

Best moments/quotes:
*"If the devil exploded and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?"
*The entire Jim/Michael conversation, especially Michael's "N3-P's" and "CD mix tape"
*"I am going to propose tonight. Holy crap!"
*Both of Jim's voice mails for Ryan
*Everything about Kevin from start to finish. "I do the numbers" and "I am totally gonna bang Holly".
*"You cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to?"
*Jim's kiss on Pam's head
*Dwight: "Well, it's my own fault" (Has to be THE MOST human moment Dwight's ever had...and I think the first time he's ever really acknowledged to the camera that they had a relationship)
*And of course the hot & steamy Angela/Dwight action up against the accounting files.