Thoughts on Weight Loss

Amen and hallelujah! Season 5 has returned with a bang...or is that a bang boom?

Is it me or was this episode totally rushed and sort of "forced"? It's like they jammed as much material as the could possibly fit and tied up as many loose ends as they possibly could within their tiny 40-ish minute window. My brain was bouncing all over the place from start to Costa Rican finish. I tried taking notes during the episode; stuff I wanted to talk about on the blog, but I gave up after about 15 minutes because it was Just. Too. Hard. (TWSS!!).

Overall it did not feel like a real episode of The Office to me. It felt like a weird one-off episode, much like I think the upcoming "24" prequel is going to feel. Not quite a season 4 episode, but not quite fitting into season 5 either.

Ok, onto our featured players...

Andy/Angela/Dwight: I've said it before and I'll say it again...who's the office mattress now?! I wonder if that crucifix she wears has actually burned a scar onto her chest yet, because LORD knows she is committing some rather unholy devilish acts in that little storage room. My, my, my. This whole "thing" she has going on with Dwight is going to blow up in her prissy little face in a BIG WAY. I still stand by my prediction that Andy & Angela are going to make it to - or get close to - their wedding day before somehow the Dwangela booty calls (or is that booty pages?) are discovered. Wanna place bets on the possibility of Dwight & Angela going at it in the church rectory while she's in her wedding gown??!! Huh? Huh?

Michael/Holly/Jan - Or rather Michael/Holly/The One With The Feet (lol!!). Not since Jim & Pam has there been a more perfect match than Michael and Holly. Like peas and carrots (nice healthy weight management food). SPOILER ALERT: It's a shame Amy Ryan's contract was only for 6 episodes. It doesn't necessarily mean she won't EVER come back, but I think the odds are pretty slim right now. Which means he'll end up with evil Jan and her devil spawn donor (NOT!! You took me by the haaaand, maaade me a maaan, that one night...) baby. Blech! Jan is blech!

Kelly/Darryl/Ryan - Well, well, well, look what the New York State penal system (TWSS!) dragged in. Mr. Ryan Bailey Howard, all goateed up and ready to work...as the temp!!! Fire-d guy indeed. To coin a phrase from one Stewie Griffin, his uppance has come. And his first order of business, aside from the lamest, most insincere pile of bullshit apology to Jim, is to try making a play for Kelly again??!! What??!! Oh so now that we're back in Scranton suddenly Kelly is wonderful and..."perfect" was it? Such a player. Such a little douchebag player. And how amazing was it to watch Kelly be all "Oh that's so sweet Ryan, but I'm dating Darryl still and we're crazy in love". Ohhhh yeah! However, if I may make another prediction? She and Ryan will be back together by Christmas. Guaranteed. That is not a spoiler, that is just common sense. She can't stay away.

Jim and Pam - Ok, well, there's one prediction right out the window. An engagement in the first goddamn episode?! Wow. Did not see that coming...which I think was exactly the point. I think the writers did that on purpose to throw all the viewers off.

But although I am THRILLED they are engaged - and the engagement was cute and romantic and perfect for Jim & Pam - I am now officially very worried. Why? Because that leaves the entire rest of the season open for shit to go wrong. And you know it will. There can't ever be a couple on TV who just falls in love and gets married like everyone else. Oh no! There have to be angst and frustrations and obstacles. Pam isn't even finished with her semester at Pratt yet, and she's really enjoying her time there. So what happens when the semester ends and she...oh, I don't know...wants to stay longer? Or wants to stay in New York in general because she likes the city? And what about these friends she's making? Maybe I've seen one too many episodes of "Three's Company", where Mr. Firley walked in on Jack kissing a girl and misunderstandings ran rampant. But couldn't you see something like that? Couldn't you see Jim driving up to Pratt to surprise Pam one weekend, only to catch her giggling and flirting with that "My ex-girlfriend is behind me" guy? Not that she would be interested in him, but maybe Jim would see it differently and start to have doubts. After all, she called off her wedding to Roy, so...

Believe me, this is NOT how I want the scenario to play out. But to me the early engagement just opens the door to so many icky bad things happening. Of course it also opens the door to a Christmas wedding. Maybe I should stop being so glass-is-half-empty. Ya think?

Favorite moments/quotes (I have so many, because really I think the one-liners made this episode funny):
* "What up 2-1-2?" (How cute was she?!)
* "Who's the girl in Michael's office with the feet?"
* Angela's "That's how I sleep at night" speech.
* "Dangerous. Tacky. Sharks. Haunted."
* "What is up, girl in the computer?". And then Girl in the Computer being carted around the office to say hi, meet Ronnie, and find paper clips. And Girl in the Computer's talking head.
* "Beer me five" (Awesome!!!!!!)
* Michael saying Jim was going on a booty call and then giving him a condom. Yikes!
* Speaking of booty calls, Angela's repeated pages to Dwight
* Creed dividing up the rice grains like cocaine.
* "Give me Ryan Howard. Give 'em to me. I want him. I need him." and then the dueling goatees.
* Pam's "summer project"
* "Andy Bernard does not lose contests, he wins them. Or he quits them because they are unfair"
* The fruit in the vending machine...and the flies...and Dwight's, um, "solution" to the problem
* The names of the guys from Here Comes Treble (Broccoli Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunchbox, Sandwich, and my favorite Pubey Lewis and the News - LOL!!!!!!!)
* And of course the proposal, every single wonderful, wet, drippy, gasoline-smelling moment of it. It's about damn time!!!!!